And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm drive I can fine osifer
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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