Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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