I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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