Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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