alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
So vagazzling was a success
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
