he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
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