She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
