Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
