I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
