Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I just gift wrapped bread.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
