oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
