Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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