There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
