Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Randomize
