..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
