Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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