the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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