Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
