I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Randomize
