Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
