what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
