The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It's shark week go big or go home
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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