mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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