There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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