Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
