Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
