I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
