Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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