I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
