redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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