He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
