they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I want her autograph on my taint
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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