I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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