is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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