im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Two words: blizzard sex
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
