Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just want to make out with him forever
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
