She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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