How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
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We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
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I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life