Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess

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  (847): Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess http://tfl.nu/s4vr
  Replies (7) Good night (960) Bad night (3900)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.

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  (541): No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed. http://tfl.nu/54wn
  Replies (64) Good night (7920) Bad night (1229)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..

  (1-540): View more from Virginia

  What did u do?

  (540): View more from Virginia

  turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..

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  (540): so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn.. (1-540): What did u do? (540): turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him.. http://tfl.nu/pi8a
  Replies (50) Good night (11386) Bad night (1184)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that

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  (856): dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that http://tfl.nu/vsra
  Replies (34) Good night (5874) Bad night (1292)
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  (530): View more from California

  Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'

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  (530): Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober' http://tfl.nu/1n5d
  Replies (3) Good night (2920) Bad night (1095)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...

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  (203): Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked... http://tfl.nu/yapw
  Replies (3) Good night (1234) Bad night (768)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.

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  (207): Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something. http://tfl.nu/ppvg
  Replies (12) Good night (1162) Bad night (693)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?

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  (775): Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram? http://tfl.nu/uqso
  Replies (6) Good night (819) Bad night (465)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"

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  (971): no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack" http://tfl.nu/ruay
  Replies (2) Good night (592) Bad night (1000)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"

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  (315): Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick" http://tfl.nu/b4qj
  Replies (0) Good night (383) Bad night (340)
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  (805): View more from California

  fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King

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  (805): fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King http://tfl.nu/soey
  Replies (2) Good night (479) Bad night (894)
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  (714): View more from California

  I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.

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  (714): I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like. http://tfl.nu/0ztf
  Replies (0) Good night (595) Bad night (314)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Naked.

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  (202): I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out. (202): Naked. http://tfl.nu/m66x
  Replies (1) Good night (644) Bad night (778)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year

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  (228): My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year http://tfl.nu/fbfd
  Replies (28) Good night (335) Bad night (1841)
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  (880): View more from

  tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness

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  (880): tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness http://tfl.nu/yh2l
  Replies (5) Good night (406) Bad night (591)

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