I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
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I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
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Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just want nice things and good sex
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream