Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
