I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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