Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Randomize
