You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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