I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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