careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
