Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
please don't ironically join a cult
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