I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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