i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
