Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
