the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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