she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Randomize
