maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
