um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
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He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
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I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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