1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
