You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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