Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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