You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
