i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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