So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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