What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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