I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..