i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.