Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
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Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
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Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?