4 words: hood of his car
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.