I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.