piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme