Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
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He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
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Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.